I went to The London Screenwriters’ Festival last year. Successor to the now-defunct Cheltenham Screenwriters’ Festival, it’s a good way to meet other writers and learn from those already doing well in the business.

I had a great time, met some lovely people, and would thoroughly recommend going.

As you may have seen elsewhere on the Internets, the festival organisers are putting on a short weekend specifically for comedy writers on the weekend of April 9-10.

The going rate is £149. Which is actually good value.

The other thing you might have seen is a lot of people offering discount codes if you buy a ticket. This is an affiliate scheme, so basically you get £25 off your ticket and the blogger gets £25 for themselves.

The lovely Michelle Lipton has decided to donate any money she gets through the scheme to Comic Relief.

Which is nice enough, I guess.

But I don’t think you should give money to the children living on the street abroad, or to those in this country suffering from domestic violence and sexual abuse, or to people who are having problems due to mental health issues – which one in four of us will experience at some point in our lives.

Instead, I think you should give your money to me.
And in return, I promise to spend it on gin.

Here’s how it works: When you book, use the special code GIN to get a £25 discount on the cost of your ticket. I’ll then get £25, which I’ll put aside in a special GinTin in the house, and whenever we run out I shall buy another bottle and think of you as I enjoy a perfectly-made slightly-too-strong gin-and-tonic.

I like gin. You like £25 off your festival ticket. How is this not a winning combination?

Of course, if you’d rather give your money to deserving people instead (though why you would want to I have no idea), use the code michellelipton when you check out, and she’ll give the £25 she gets to Comic Relief.

And I’ll buy my own damn gin.