Letters from America: Coffee Mermaid Slut

a series of occasional emails sent from Los Angeles in the past
originally posted 18 may 2004

So there I was in Starbucks the other day, drinking my coffee and thinking about nothing in particular, when I happened to glance at the logo on my cup.

It’s a woman, with long hair covering her breasts. She’s smiling, and wears a crown.

And what’s this to one side of her? A fish tail.

Ah, so it’s a mermaid.

But what’s this on the other side? Another fish tail.

Oh, I see. So rather than having one tail, she’s got a tail in place of each of her legs.

So those things in the gap between her body and legs must be her arms…

Which means that she’s holding her legs spread wide apart with a huge smile on her face.

Just for you.

If you have any sort of interest in sex and data (and which of us doesn’t, really?), read this.

OkCupid is a dating site.

It organises matches based around self-selecting data. So you’re given a bunch of questions to answer.

What do I think of such-and-such? How important is the answer a potential partner gives to that question to whether I might date them? And so on and so forth.

I know one couple who met and got married via it. No names, no pack drill, but if they want to out themselves in the comments you know who you are.

So far, so lovely.

But as well as matching people by this data, they analyse it. And that’s some pretty funky shit.

OkTrends, which is their irregular blog about Stuff, can give you useful information about things like how the camera that your photo was taken on can improve your attractiveness.

Science. In sexy action.