As you may (or may not) know, for the last six months or so I’ve been part of the writing team for new sketch show Splendid.

Well, I’ve just checked the schedule, and they’re shooting my first sketch today. And it’s a beautiful day, which bodes well as this one has some outside shooting involved.

Also Super 8.

More detail will no doubt show up throughout the shooting and editing period, but in the meantime you can sate your curiosity at the online gaffs of Jason Arnopp, Dan Turner, and John Harrison.

Show me on the doll where the bad script touched you.

Balls Out is a screenplay that does exactly what it says on the tin.

You’ll love it or hate it. I think I can safely guarantee you won’t have a neutral opinion.

The script did take a little while to go all the way with me, but once it got into a rhythm, it was the most mindblowing read I’ve had in a long while. So don’t give up too soon. And make sure you have plenty of lube.

The quotes on THE ROBOTARD 8000’s homepage, by the way, are genuine. BattleDolphinZero, half of THE ROBOTARD 8000, has described the writers as being “A-list adjacent”.

Now pass me the doll. I need to push my fingers deep into its heart.