Letters from America: Coffee Mermaid Slut

a series of occasional emails sent from Los Angeles in the past
originally posted 18 may 2004

So there I was in Starbucks the other day, drinking my coffee and thinking about nothing in particular, when I happened to glance at the logo on my cup.

It’s a woman, with long hair covering her breasts. She’s smiling, and wears a crown.

And what’s this to one side of her? A fish tail.

Ah, so it’s a mermaid.

But what’s this on the other side? Another fish tail.

Oh, I see. So rather than having one tail, she’s got a tail in place of each of her legs.

So those things in the gap between her body and legs must be her arms…

Which means that she’s holding her legs spread wide apart with a huge smile on her face.

Just for you.