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Dollars and sense

Cost to NBC in ad revenue due to cancellation of this year’s Golden Globes award: $15-$20m
source

Cost to NBC of agreeing to every single one of the writers’ demands for the next three years: $22.32m
source

And we haven’t even got to the Oscars yet.

Staying away from the negotiating table is simply not good business.

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Pilot season is on the Internet this year

So…

You’re a working writer. Only you’re not at the moment, because you’re on strike. (See pavements passim.)

You’ve got a lot of friends in the industry working as camera operators, riggers, teamsters, and so on who can’t work at the moment because you’re on strike.

How can you support them?

Well… given that this dispute is all about the Internet, it’s occurred to a couple of people that maybe they could put their talent to use in the meantime.

It’s called Strike TV. An Internet Channel created by professional writers and crew to raise money for the strike fund. So that people in difficulty due to the strike – everyone, not just writers – will be able to support themselves.

And they’re going to do this by advertising within their videos. On the Internet. Apparently you can get money for that these days.

Their MySpace page has the details, but the deal is basically this:

If you’re an active WGA member who wishes to contribute, send a proposal. You’ll then need to make a pilot, which will get shown on the Internet on the Strike TV channel. Any money from ads made goes to the Writers Guild Foundation Industry Support Fund.

And if it’s a hit?

You own it. It’s yours. Set it up as a web series, sell it to a TV network (it’s been done already), spin off novels, comics, DVDs… Make money from it.

It’ll need to be a Union production, obviously. But that’s what this all comes down to, in the end, and they’re already working on ways to make it affordable.

The channel starts in February. Sweeps. That’s when the advertisers in the States decide where to spend their money.

There’s one condition: someone in the production has to be an active member of the WGA.

Being an inquisitive chap, I got in contact and asked if active members of other Writers’ Guilds were allowed.

The answer was yes. And they’re really looking forward to seeing what we can come up with.

So if you’re an active member in good standing of any of the following Writers’ Guilds, you should get going. There’s not much time before sweeps.

  • Australian Writers’ Guild
  • Irish Playwrights and Writers Guild
  • New Zealand Writers Guild
  • SARTeC – Société des auteurs de radio, télévision et cinéma (French-language Canada)
  • Sección de Autorres y Adaptadores de Cine (Mexico)
  • Union-Guilde des Scénaristes (France)
  • Writers Guild of America, East
  • Writers Guild of America, west
  • Writers Guild of Canada
  • Writers Guild of Great Britain

If you’re in Los Angeles on the 9th January there’s a free event at the WGA Theater where you can find out more, and hook up with production crew.

Here’s that MySpace page again.

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Elegance, and solving the Pun-Pun problem

One of the things that gives me immense pleasure in the world is solving a problem.

It’s why I do cryptic crosswords.
It’s why I started out as a programmer.
It’s why I became an internet strategist, then a website editor.
It’s why I write.

In writing, it’s finding the right line, the right character, the right plot twist, the right set piece.

As every hacker, writer, strategist, and crossword-setter knows, there are many acceptable solutions to a problem. But only a few are elegant.

Which brings us to Pun-Pun.

You may, if you’re reading this blog, be aware of my fondness for role-playing games such as Dungeons and Dragons. A selection of rules which allow you to create characters, who can then go and fight monsters.

As with any set of rules, you can find places where they allow you to do things that the creators might not intend. In hacking and MMORPGs, these are known as exploits, or (sometimes) just sploits. Where you take advantage of someone not seeing all the consequences of the rules they’ve made.

And, just like in hacking or MMORPGs, people have found exploits in D&D. Sometimes to get an unstoppable character, but more often just for the sheer hellacious fun of it all. It’s problem solving at a very pure level. Given this set of rules, what’s the most powerful character you can build?

Well, here he is: Pun-Pun the Divine Kobold, created by Khan the Destroyer.

For those of you who don’t want to work through the reasoning: A Kobold is one of the crappiest monsters in D&D. They exist purely to have the shit kicked out of them by first-level adventurers. But, thanks to some hard thinking, Pun-Pun can become a God.

By fifth level.

It’s the elegance that makes it great. (Of course, if you’re not going to read it you’ll just have to trust me on this one.)

Think of it: A simple Kobold! With the power of a God! Surely humanity is Doomed!

But no! On the horizon: a Saviour!

LordOfProcrastination has found a way for a simple Elf to raise themselves to Divinity.

By fourth level.

And the way they achieve this divine power is by hiring a few assistants, casting a few spells, and then throwing themselves off a cliff.

Elegance. I love it.

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A door just fell on me.

Walking into work just now, I opened one of those ten feet high doors made of solid wood.

(Not randomly. I have to in order to get to my desk.)

At which point it fell off its hinges. Fortunately I was able to step to one side before being squashed like a bug.

After checking that I was unharmed, two of us tried to lift the door to one side of the room.

We couldn’t.

I suspect my employer is trying to save money on both maintenance and staff costs in one fell swoop.

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I went on a negotiating course once, you know

So, here we are again. The AMPTP has thrown the toys out of the pram, and my cautious optimism has come to naught.

Let’s delve a little deeper.

Datestamp: 6th December 2007
Nikki Finke reports rumours that the AMPTP has no intention of making a deal, and is planning to storm out of the talks

Datestamp: 7th December 2007 (morning)
The WGA issues a statement saying they’ve heard the rumours, and intend to stay at the bargaining table no matter what.

Datestamp: 7th December 2007 (afternoon)
The AMPTP presents an ultimatum – withdraw the following items from the bargaining table immediately, or we’re walking away. The items in question are:

  • Allow a third party other than the studio to determine fair market value for a property.
  • Allow WGA to represent writers/storyliners/editors (call them what you will) for reality TV shows
  • Allow WGA to represent animators
  • Allow WGA to refuse to cross picket lines of other striking professionals (eg Actors, Directors)
  • Revenue to be dependent on overall gross

Datestamp: 7th December 2007 6:05pm
The AMPTP walks away, refusing to negotiate further.

Now, as far as the WGA are concerned, these five items are still on the table. Still negotiable.

And, as previously discussed, the reason the WGA is on strike is Internet Residuals. All of the above points are potentially sacrificable for movement on Internet Residuals.

To the title of this post.

I was on a negotiating course once, you know. And what you do in a situation like this, is you list the things you care about, and you trade them off.

So if the AMPTP finds these five negotiable items so terrible that they must be taken off the table, there’s a very simple solution: trade them for some movement on Internet Residuals. Boy, doesn’t have to be much. Just show willing.

Demanding that a bunch of items have to come off with no trade or you walk, is not a negotiation.

The companies are currently claiming that the proposals that they are offering right now will cost $130 million. (The source implies each year, as it then goes on to mention current yearly spend. But let’s assume, more reasonably, that this is over the lifetime of the next three-year contract.)

Unfortunately, the AMPTP has declined to show their workings for this figure. However, the WGA has done the workings for the cost of everything the WGA are asking for right now.

It comes to (drumroll): $151 million over three years.

(The WGA helpfully even breaks down how much each company would have to pay.)

And this is our starting point for negotiations.

So.

If the AMPTP are serious, we should be at the negotiating table right now, yes? We’ve established that the things they’ve walked out over are negotiable. We’ve established that the price difference is affordable. What conclusions can we draw from this?

Well, sadly, there’s only one conclusion, and that is that the AMPTP is not interested in resolving these issues and having the writers return to work. They’ve attempted to pin the blame on the negotiating committee, but that has failed.

The bigger question is this: Why don’t they want to settle?

Well, at this point I have to introduce a new concept into the discussion: force majeure.

The studios have a lot of high-money contracts with various producers. By way of an example, let’s look at a deal that’s already expired, that with Cruise/Wagner, Tom Cruise’s production company. Paramount were paying Cruise/Wagner 10 million dollars a year in exchange for a first look at anything they produced. (It should be noted that this deal was not extended – so, actually, that’s made up the difference between the two proposals right there.)

There are a lot of these Producers with Overall Deals (or PODs). They cost a lot of money. And this pilot season has not been a good one.

Meaning a lot of money is going out for no good result.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could, I don’t know, slim the number of PODs down somewhat?

Well, turns out they all have force majeure clauses in their contracts. So if they weren’t able to develop shows (for example if there was a writers’ strike) for, say, two or three months – they could all be fired. Potentially freeing up a lot more profit.

What’s that you say? We knew this was a possibility back in November?

Well. Yes. I suppose there’s always a possibility that we’re dealing with scumsucking lowlife pondscum who’d screw over anyone that got in their way of a quick buck, instead of a human being.

But, you know, I like to think the best of people until they prove me wrong.

Unfortunately, this last AMPTP manoeuvre would, indeed, seem to prove me wrong.

New prediction: the strike lasts until February, at which point producers – real producers – will start getting fired.

What’s the betting the AMPTP then attempts to blame that on the writers?

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The latest news from the world of airport security

So, Loli and I dropped off a friend at the airport yesterday, and it turns out that they have a new question at the check-in desk.

“Have you left any electrical device with someone else to be repaired since the last time you used it?”

Fair enough. That laptop could be full of all sorts of bombs, germs, or other nastiness, ready to be triggered the next time it’s used.

The best bit, though, was that we found out what the security protocol is if someone answers yes.

The poor bugger behind the counter has to switch it on.